God does exist, and this was proven at my house today when a harried UPS guy dropped off a special package from Dell Computers. Oh, yes, we love you Dell, and we love you God, for not making us wait until January 8th, which was the original back-order date (and? by the way? I think they make up all that nonsense about “back-orders” just so you’ll jump up and down like a crazy person—like I did—when the package arrives early).
Computer. Lovely. Beautiful. I never thought I would be so happy to open a cardboard box with a small silver machine inside.
Then The Husband has to go and freak me out. No, no, not the expected Hey-why-don’t-we-wait-until-December-25th-to-set-it-up, no. He has to go and say something practical, something like, “Ohhhh, uh, we reeeeeeeeally need to make sure we have that anti-spam guard and Force-Field 12 in place, you know, so no viruses can get through like last time.”
Sigh. How long does that take?
“How long does that take?” Good question coming from me who has been picturing our computer as inhabited by a small person living inside. Mini Computer Person goes to retrieve our files one-by-one; I envision him bespectacled and befuddled, like the absent-minded professor or ancient librarian who really should retire. I see him looking around for things (my files!) saying, “Here—is this it? or how about this one? Sorry I’m taking so long, I’ve got a bad hip, you know…..”
We have waited ten years for the technology and the greatness that is New Computer. I suppose we can wait a few more days.
(“Machinist Or Virtuoso?”)