Oh, evil evil etsy has started doing this new thing that is: they track my purchases, or even things I have looked at, or things I might have put on my “favorites” list, and then they make their oh-so-helpful suggestions, like, “You might be interested in this.”
Damn it, etsy, I AM interested in this! Stop it! Stop it now. My meager little paycheck and I beg you to Just. Back. Off.
A small zippered tote with black embroidered airplanes all over it? Yep, sign me up. A woolly hand-knit scarf in shades of gray and burgundy? Make it mine. A hand-carved African wooden toucan for my 4-year-old who has a slight toucan fetish? My Amex number is 3732……..
I’m mad at you, etsy. I don’t need you and your hand-cut linoleum block greeting cards of stunning cityscapes. No. I can live without your sterling silver bracelet with the intricate leaf design. Watch me.
There is just one little teeny tiny itsy bitsy thing I would like to buy if you have it listed, because I used to have it, but I lost it, and I need it and I really really miss it:
My willpower. Comes in size extra-small. (I’ll take two.)