MOVarazzi

Friday, November 19, 2010

221. Antiques: Good or Bad?

Good Antique: 1930’s Art Deco burled walnut armoire.
Bad Antique: Dell computer.

My computer thinks it's a valuable antique. 

It. Is. Wrong.

Daily, it has its little bouts with intermittent Alzheimer’s. I try to patiently coax it along, all the time internally cursing the fact that The Husband’s Christmas bonus (which will definitely be spent on a new computer) won’t materialize until December. How dare his company wait until December 25th to distribute Christmas bonuses!

Good Antique: retro diamond-encrusted cuff bracelet (total weight: 5 carats)
Bad Antique: Marinara pasta sauce

The Husband keeps pushing the marinara sauce to the waaaaay back of the lower shelf of the frig and I cope by pretending it’s not there. If, while searching for random left-over Halloween candy my eyes happen to catch a glimpse of it, I block it out. I am very very scared that it may have grown fangs.

MOV
(“Marinara Or Venom?”)

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