Good Antique: 1930’s Art Deco burled walnut armoire.
Bad Antique: Dell computer.
My computer thinks it's a valuable antique.
It. Is. Wrong.
Daily, it has its little bouts with intermittent Alzheimer’s. I try to patiently coax it along, all the time internally cursing the fact that The Husband’s Christmas bonus (which will definitely be spent on a new computer) won’t materialize until December. How dare his company wait until December 25th to distribute Christmas bonuses!
Good Antique: retro diamond-encrusted cuff bracelet (total weight: 5 carats)
Bad Antique: Marinara pasta sauce
The Husband keeps pushing the marinara sauce to the waaaaay back of the lower shelf of the frig and I cope by pretending it’s not there. If, while searching for random left-over Halloween candy my eyes happen to catch a glimpse of it, I block it out. I am very very scared that it may have grown fangs.
(“Marinara Or Venom?”)