I’m at Target, my favorite store.
I stare in my cart, and count not three—but four!—
Large packs of paper plates and bowls
(My “green” pals would call me an a- _ _ _ _ )
Yep, I’m a hypocrite, it’s true;
I’m wasteful sometimes, what’s new?
Stand at the sink the entire day,
Washing dishes? Uh-uh, no way.
Other items in my cart—let’s look:
Star, People, US………… not a book!
Did I really study English Lit?
Did I graduate, or am I full of s_ _ _ ?
Don’t forget paper towels and soap,
I could save lots of money, I hope
(Approximately $8922 per year
You think I joke, but I’m being sincere)
If I got rid of my compulsion to be clean and dry,
If Society could turn away a critical nose and eye.
It’s not just me now, who has to be clean,
Also my sons, they want to be seen
In public, in school, anywhere;
Can’t be dirty, we don’t dare……..
“Let me be grungy!” they beg, caked in dirt,
Wearing smelly socks and a muddy shirt.
I tell my sons, “Take a bath, you must!
If you don’t, friends will turn in disgust.”
So now back to the items I plan to buy
Toilet paper, more shampoo (big sigh),
Kitty litter, Kleenex, pull-ups for night,
Paper napkins, toothpaste (“Ultra-Brite”).
Who says we have to spend money this way?
Let me be dirty! (I sense your dismay)
Soap and paper, paper and soap……….
Can I give it all up? Yeah, I mean, nope.