MOVarazzi

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

134. Brain Candy

I admit that I don't always make the best choices.  I find myself in a continual battle between the Smart Part of my brain (that underused 3%), the math skills part of my brain (17%) and the rest of it (99%).  My internal conflict goes something like this:

The Smart Part of Brain:  I know how we could be smarter and better at math!
The Rest:  Stop pestering me, I'm watching "The Bachelor".
Smart Part:  That's my whole point, we need to read more, or at the very least attempt a simple Soduko puzzle.  They make an "Easy Beginner Level"—I think it's targeted at 5th graders.
The Rest:  Huh?  How about later?  This is a new episode.

The main problem with the Smart Part of my brain is that it likes to make me feel guilty approximately 29 hours per day.  It somehow superimposes a grid of "positive choices" over the blueprint of my regular activities.  Here is a running list of what the Smart Part thinks I "should" be doing vs. what the Lazy Regular Me actually ends up doing:

  • Reading Proust…….. reading "sTori Telling", by Tori Spelling
  • Perusing Newsweek ................perusing People magazine 
  • Learning about Sarah Palin's political aspirations..... learning about Bristol Palin's romantic liaisons
  • Doing the New York Times crossword puzzle... doodling little egg people while I gossip on the phone
  • Learning Italian……...........................ordering pizza
  • Reading Baudelaire (in French)….......eating French fries
  • Studying the philosophy of Descartes ... Googling quotes
  • Reading The Washington Post...............posting on my blog 
  • Watching a French movie with subtitles.... getting a French manicure
  • Writing my novel……..... jotting down novel vacation ideas (snorkeling in Iceland!)
  • Memorizing math formulas.... thanking God that I no longer have to memorize math formulas
  • Learning to sail………...................... hitting Nordstrom’s sale
  • Reading parenting books…....... placing unread parenting books gingerly in the Goodwill donation bag
  • Always being interested in what others (including own children) are saying….....… pretending to be interested in what others are saying
  • Facing a book...................................checking out Facebook
  • Balancing checkbook online….. ordering new skirt from J.Crew online
  • Volunteering at a soup kitchen …… volunteering to host a happy hour
  • Disapproving of commercialism…….watching YouTube

That latest YouTube video was (coincidentally) all about making yourself smarter; I wonder if it started working on me yet? 

MOV
(“Malleable Obsequious Virtues”)

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