MOVarazzi

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

125. Test

So they didn’t tell me that there would be another test. Tomorrow is the first day of school. As usual, I am not Prepared. Even though I thought I was done with school, what, 19 years ago? apparently I was wrong.

So here I sit, facing the first test of the season. Seems innocuous enough, just a couple forms to fill out: your child's address, who has your permission to pick up your child from the bus-stop, does your child have scary allergies, stuff like that. Then why am I having flashbacks to my procrastination-laden college days?

Is it really that crucial that I get these papers filled out the very first day? What is the worst that can happen? I am the parent now, for God’s sake! They can’t do anything to me! I am a grown-up (finally) which means that I get to make the rules!

Oh, why do I wait until the night before to actually read what was in the Important Official Envelope that my son’s school mailed out back in July?

“Dear Parent/ or Guardian,

It has come to our attention that you are a complete loser and never fill out forms. We have dealt with your kind before.

YOU MUST FILL OUT THE ENCLOSED FORMS OR YOUR CHILD WILL STAY HOME WITH YOU FOREVER AND YOU WILL NEVER GET TO GO TO THE BATHROOM BY YOURSELF.

EVER.

Sincerely,
The Principal of Crazy Town Fabulous Elementary”

You have to hand it to them, their scare tactics work.

MOV
(“Must Outline Validity”)

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