Tuesday, August 3, 2010

79. Eye Cream Thief

Does this ever happen to you: you go to put on your special eye cream at night (the one that you have to rationalize buying in the first place because it costs more than a nice dinner out, make that two nice dinners out) and you notice it is (gasp!) almost gone. Not as in almost-gone-I- guess-I-already-used-it-all, but more like almost-gone-someone-else-has-put-their-large- paws-into-it-and-helped-themselves. That someone is: The Husband. Why? Why? Why does he need your $$$$$$ special eye cream? Oh, yeah, he needs it for his hands. That's right. He opens the small jar that could safely house about 5 ladybugs and he takes his BIG HANDS that can barely even fit in the teeny tiny jar and scooooooops some out to use on his hands, all the while leaving giant finger impressions in what is left of the cream. He tells you later his hands were feeling "a little bit rough from gardening". Since when has The Husband gone all "metro-sexual"? What is wrong with rough hands anyway? Are you kidding? you want to yell, That is what the cheap-o generic brand of HAND CREAM (not eye cream) from Rite Aid is for. But it is too late. The jar of cream is virtually empty. You sulk. The Husband does not understand the problem. He tells you to "just go buy some more". He has no idea how much it costs (and up until now, he had no idea that you even use eye cream). And herein lies the paradox: you tell him how much it costs and he will flip out and accuse you of spending too much money OR you act like it is no big deal and then it happens again-- he will waste your precious supply as if it's Vaseline. MOV ("Mission Of Vanity")


  1. Maybe you can hide it somewhere? Boy 2 likes to put on special "ocean" also -- but when he was 2 or 3 it wasn't just a little -- it was a HUGE glob. His skin was white all over because of the VAST quantities of "ocean" he applied. Ack.

  2. yikes, another one you had to read not properly formatted. I am getting a complex now.

    I love the idea of calling lotion "ocean". :) Just about the cutest thing my older son ever said (then age 4) was "automagically." As in, "the hand-dryer in the mall bathroom comes on automagically, you don't have to turn it on."



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