Monday, July 19, 2010

62. This Is What Procrastination Looks Like

Lists. Lots of lists. In fact, lists of lists.

(I need to inform you right off the bat that I just dropped off my kids at summer camp. I have 3 hours free, in which to accomplish EVERYTHING IN THE WORLD. This is a lot of pressure.)

First, it is Very Important that I re-do my entire calendar (which is done by hand, not on a Blackberry as I am a certified technophobe). My calendar is a blank one that shows 6 weeks at a time, and I can hand-write the dates on it. I Xerox more at Kinko's when I am close to running out (which I am now: add it to the list).

I copy all the relevant items onto the new calendar. This is very time-consuming, which is fantastic for procrastinating. Then, it really helps me a lot (because I am a visual person) if certain things on the calendar are certain colors. So I switch pens a lot. Special events, like girls' night out or doctor appointments, are in red ink. Work is in green ink (get it? I make money at work, and money is green). Tall's and Short's schedules are in blue. If something important like a week-end away or out-of-town guests is coming up, those entire days are highlighted in yellow.

OK, so the Making Of The Calendar can take a very long time as it is very detailed. Then, I must make today's specific schedule (luckily, no color-coding involved). This still takes a while. I find it therapeutic to add things to the list that I might have already done, just so I can cross them off. My list might say
  • make breakfast
  • take shower
  • get kids dressed
  • feed cat
  • remember sunblock for Tall
  • pack Tall's lunch
  • pick up Tall's friend for summer camp carpool
  • drop off Tall and friend at camp
  • take Short to his camp
  • go to Starbucks
Then all those things will have nice slashes through them because they have all been accomplished before 9:30 in the morning and I am X-ing them out while I drink my latte at Starbucks. Before I leave Starbucks, I remember I need to buy coffee beans, so I add it to the list and then X it out right before I walk up to the counter to order the beans.

I get in my car and look over my list. I am a Super-Hero! So many things already crossed off!
When I get back home, I head upstairs to the study. Now I will do another favorite thing which is Make A List of all the stuff I generally need to take care of (but this is on a separate sheet of paper because it most likely will not all be accomplished today). This list will say things like
  • rotate tires
  • research different soccer camps for Tall
  • put together Short's baby album (Short is age 4 now)
  • find really good chocolate mousse recipe
  • learn to play saxophone
  • get Real Estate broker's license (take 8 week class first)
Now since I am so exhausted from just thinking about what I need to do, I might go in the kitchen and start making brownies. I locate the special brownie pan. I pre-heat the oven. I get out the ingredients: butter, chocolate, vanilla, flour, salt. And eggs. Ooops, no eggs. Who ate the last eggs? I notice a dirty pan on the counter next to the sink-- looks like The Husband had scrambled eggs for breakfast. So, we are out of eggs. I turn off the oven. I put away the butter, chocolate, vanilla, flour, salt. Grrrrr.

Maybe checking email would be a good way to Avoid Other Stuff. Drat. Just a couple emails from Old Navy and Amazon, and something about a Nigerian Prince needing my social security number.... hmm, that sounds intriguing.

I am worn out from Not Doing Stuff. I wisely decide to peruse the latest Eddie Bauer catalog in case there is something I Cannot Live Without. Sigh. I have seen all these items before, I think they just switch out the covers on these catalogs just to get you to flip through them again.

I decide my bangs are too long and I should cut them.

Now I decide they are way too short and I am depressed. Why do I cut my bangs myself? What was I thinking? I get them wet and blow-dry them STRAIGHT DOWN. There, that's better.

When I put the scissors away in the closet with the toiletries, I notice the towels and sheets are kind of tipping over. I take every single linen out of the closet and refold them all. I decide towels look nicer on the top shelf and sheets on the bottom. Much better.

I glance at the clock. Ack! It is 12:20! I have to pick up Short in 5 minutes!

Where did the time go?

("Missing Only Volition")

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