MOVarazzi

Monday, July 19, 2010

62. This Is What Procrastination Looks Like

Lists. Lots of lists. In fact, lists of lists.

(I need to inform you right off the bat that I just dropped off my kids at summer camp. I have 3 hours free, in which to accomplish EVERYTHING IN THE WORLD. This is a lot of pressure.)

First, it is Very Important that I re-do my entire calendar (which is done by hand, not on a Blackberry as I am a certified technophobe). My calendar is a blank one that shows 6 weeks at a time, and I can hand-write the dates on it. I Xerox more at Kinko's when I am close to running out (which I am now: add it to the list).

I copy all the relevant items onto the new calendar. This is very time-consuming, which is fantastic for procrastinating. Then, it really helps me a lot (because I am a visual person) if certain things on the calendar are certain colors. So I switch pens a lot. Special events, like girls' night out or doctor appointments, are in red ink. Work is in green ink (get it? I make money at work, and money is green). Tall's and Short's schedules are in blue. If something important like a week-end away or out-of-town guests is coming up, those entire days are highlighted in yellow.

OK, so the Making Of The Calendar can take a very long time as it is very detailed. Then, I must make today's specific schedule (luckily, no color-coding involved). This still takes a while. I find it therapeutic to add things to the list that I might have already done, just so I can cross them off. My list might say
  • make breakfast
  • take shower
  • get kids dressed
  • feed cat
  • remember sunblock for Tall
  • pack Tall's lunch
  • pick up Tall's friend for summer camp carpool
  • drop off Tall and friend at camp
  • take Short to his camp
  • go to Starbucks
Then all those things will have nice slashes through them because they have all been accomplished before 9:30 in the morning and I am X-ing them out while I drink my latte at Starbucks. Before I leave Starbucks, I remember I need to buy coffee beans, so I add it to the list and then X it out right before I walk up to the counter to order the beans.

I get in my car and look over my list. I am a Super-Hero! So many things already crossed off!
                                                                             
When I get back home, I head upstairs to the study. Now I will do another favorite thing which is Make A List of all the stuff I generally need to take care of (but this is on a separate sheet of paper because it most likely will not all be accomplished today). This list will say things like
  • rotate tires
  • research different soccer camps for Tall
  • put together Short's baby album (Short is age 4 now)
  • find really good chocolate mousse recipe
  • learn to play saxophone
  • get Real Estate broker's license (take 8 week class first)
Now since I am so exhausted from just thinking about what I need to do, I might go in the kitchen and start making brownies. I locate the special brownie pan. I pre-heat the oven. I get out the ingredients: butter, chocolate, vanilla, flour, salt. And eggs. Ooops, no eggs. Who ate the last eggs? I notice a dirty pan on the counter next to the sink-- looks like The Husband had scrambled eggs for breakfast. So, we are out of eggs. I turn off the oven. I put away the butter, chocolate, vanilla, flour, salt. Grrrrr.

Maybe checking email would be a good way to Avoid Other Stuff. Drat. Just a couple emails from Old Navy and Amazon, and something about a Nigerian Prince needing my social security number.... hmm, that sounds intriguing.

I am worn out from Not Doing Stuff. I wisely decide to peruse the latest Eddie Bauer catalog in case there is something I Cannot Live Without. Sigh. I have seen all these items before, I think they just switch out the covers on these catalogs just to get you to flip through them again.

I decide my bangs are too long and I should cut them.

Now I decide they are way too short and I am depressed. Why do I cut my bangs myself? What was I thinking? I get them wet and blow-dry them STRAIGHT DOWN. There, that's better.

When I put the scissors away in the closet with the toiletries, I notice the towels and sheets are kind of tipping over. I take every single linen out of the closet and refold them all. I decide towels look nicer on the top shelf and sheets on the bottom. Much better.

I glance at the clock. Ack! It is 12:20! I have to pick up Short in 5 minutes!

Where did the time go?

MOV
("Missing Only Volition")

No comments:

Post a Comment

When you write a comment, it makes me feel like I won the lottery or at the very least like I ate an ice-cream sundae. (This has nothing to do with the fact that I did just eat an ice-cream sundae.)