Saturday, July 10, 2010

41. Momiform


  • Start with one cute girl, thirty-ish. Add one nice guy, same age.
  • Gently blend together for a few years.
  • Add one baby, then another.
  • Now, take away any outfits that fit or that are flattering in any way.
  • Eliminate all working-out.
  • Take away time for showers and washing hair. Substitute one baseball cap and ponytail, if necessary.
  • For any remaining outfits, cover in baby spit-up or cat fur (your choice).
  • Stir into a frenzy.
  • Repeat until no sleep left.
  • Make sure you have the following ingredients on hand: flat comfortable shoes (under NO circumstances should these be described as "sexy" or "attractive"! That will not work for this recipe!), greasy hair (see above: "take away showers"), dowdy jeans that go above the waist, sweatshirt (in summer, you may substitute generic Target t-shirt instead).
  • Do not overlook final crucial ingredient: large purse to fit the world in and possibly some extra crackers.


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