MOVarazzi

Friday, July 9, 2010

39. Cougar Island

The Husband and I were having a deep philosophical discussion the other day, wherein we discuss what might happen to each of us when we die. Or more pointedly, to the remaining spouse who is still Among The Living: MOV: Just so you know and don’t have any qualms about it, when you die, I am moving to Hawaii and marrying a younger man. The Husband: Which island? MOV: Probably Maui. No, maybe Kauai. I'm keeping my options open. The Husband: There's more to do on the Big Island. MOV: You won't be there! You're dead, remember? The Husband: So, you're marrying a Hawaiian? MOV: No, not necessarily. Maybe. I don't know. The important thing is, he will be younger. The Husband: How much younger? MOV: (a little too quickly) We’re talking decades. The Husband: (miffed) Huh. MOV: Oh, come on, you’ll be dead! What difference does it make? Don’t you want me to be happy with the kids and your insurance money? Think Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore! Be open-minded! The Husband: (sulking) I’d be a lot more open-minded if I wasn't dead! (long uncomfortable silence) Well, you know what, if you die first, then I will marry a younger woman! So there! MOV: How much younger? The Husband: Put it to you this way-- she is probably not even born yet! Ha! So there! MOV: Just don't meet her at my funeral! And by the way, everyone will consider you just another stereotype… The Husband: That's okay, I don't mind. I will be married to Barbie. MOV (“Mom’s Our Villain”)

1 comment:

  1. um, isn't he already married to a younger woman?

    ReplyDelete

When you write a comment, it makes me feel like I won the lottery or at the very least like I ate an ice-cream sundae. (This has nothing to do with the fact that I did just eat an ice-cream sundae.)