Saturday, July 17, 2010

58. Christie Brinkley Is Old

Christie Brinkley is old. What is she, maybe 82 now? She should perhaps have great-grandchildren at this point. I realized just how "old" she is, when I was talking with a guy at work and I mentioned something about someone who was very beautiful and then I compared her to (I thought it was a compliment) Christie Brinkley, and Holden said back, "Huh, who?" What do you mean, "Who?" Christie F------ Brinkley, that's who! How can you not know who Christie Brinkley is, for goshsakes! She is an ICON! Everyone knows who Christie Brinkley is! She was married to Billy Joel! (Again, Holden says, "Billy Who?" Nooooooooooo!) Then Holden and I play a dangerous game (a game I will lose): I ask him which model or celebrity he thinks is pretty. He says without hesitation, "Taylor Swift." Now it is my turn to say, "Who?" I am embarrassed to admit that I have no idea who she is (but apparently Holden thinks she is hot). Christie Brinkley used to be the "Gold Standard". And Cindy Crawford. And what about Cheryl Tiegs? Where is she now? And Farrah Fawcett? (oops-- I know where she is: dead.) Elle MacPherson? where are these gorgeous women from my youth? They were on the cover of EVERY magazine. Are they all on portable oxygen and using walkers now? When did this happen? I decide I will be Current and In The Know and Get With The Program. I go on my lunch break and buy "People" magazine. And by the way, since when is "People" magazine $5? Didn't it used to be like, 99 cents? This is crazy! I have never heard of half the "people" in "People". Taylor Swift is plastered all over at least 6 different pages of "People". She is, I realize, quite pretty. In fact, she looks hauntingly like Christie Brinkley. When did I get so out of the loop? Was it gradual? I always thought I was "on the cutting edge" but now I am realizing (thank you, Holden) that I am just sliding off the edge, or more like falling. I must implement some of what I have learned on this lunch break. I get home from work and plop down next to The Husband, who is already firmly planted on the couch. He has been painting the exterior of the house all day and looks beat. I turn to him and say, "Do you think Taylor Swift is hot?" The husband gives a blank look, and then replies, "Who?" MOV ("Mostly Old Variety")

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